he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
