Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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