The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
