Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
