Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she looked like the before picture.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
