I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
