Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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