I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
