You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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