I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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