We won't sleep together?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
