yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
