You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Panties = found
Randomize
