don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
