She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
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I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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