me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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