You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
