Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
