Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My bed smells like the plague
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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