Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
so much tequila, so little girl.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
