Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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