I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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