Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
