shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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