I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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