there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
