Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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