playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
