I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize