they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
