i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
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