so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
