He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
