You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
