I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
