he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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