He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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