i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
