Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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