I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
