Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
