i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
