If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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