you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
