..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
