If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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