just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
