I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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