You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
