just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
