So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
