i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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