Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
