i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
