who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
