am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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