i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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