ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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