i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
