I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i wish my penis had a tongue
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
