Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
